love isn’t about who’s worth dying for, it’s about who’s worth living for. it’s about a person who makes your life better, who makes you want to be the best person you can be. who looks out for you selflessly, who knows your quirks, your flaws, your mistakes but kisses you anyway. it’s someone you literally cannot see your life without.. their presence has no timer, their presence gives yours purpose. it’s someone so completely beautiful with a heart that has touched you in an unexplainable way. love isn’t about giving up yourself, it’s about becoming yourself. it’s about being in a natural and complete and strong and beautiful way. it’s a life changing journey. it’s unexpected and mind consuming and frustrating and such a blessing. it’s about something deep within you becoming alive. it’s a person you desire being around, who you have an intense chemistry and attraction to, so much that it pulls you towards them – so much that standing before them makes your heart beat senselessly inside. it’s someone whose past doesn’t scare you and whose secrets you don’t judge. it’s more than a simple feeling of wanting to fall asleep next to them or wake up beside them…. it’s your breath, your mind, your body, your heart; it’s a complete change in thought and in life. it’s an awakening of a part of you that you didn’t even know existed before now. that, is love.
my life is crazy and chaos and fast paced and messy, and I’m far too ambitious to do only one thing in life. I have passions and dreams and I believe in exploration and helping and making life even more beautiful. I write and it is so incredibly important to me, and I bartend and love every minute of, and I absolutely hate everything about doctors but I work for one and love the business aspect and learning people’s stories. I love so unconditionally and I give everything constantly and anyone who knows me can attest to that, and my life may be a crazy whirlwind but it’s MY life. I created it and I work for it everyday. and if you can accept the way I choose to live my life and my impatient, stubborn, sometimes unintentionally irrational flaws then you will also gain, amazing moments that will become the best times of your life with a person who will bring more good to you than you have ever known.
I love him. every single day, in every single way, with every breath in my body and beat in my heart. when I am around him, the entire world flushes through a tunnel – every thought, every doubt, every question, every fear. there is no search for the future, there is no wondering about purpose, there is just me and him in this infinite moment that keeps me alive. there is just this burning desire to be with him whether for hours or for twenty minutes. I would give my life for him, I would do anything for him. he makes me better. he makes me more myself. I feel this loss of breath and pitter patter of a heart that is full and complete. I could sit and listen to him speak for hours and every word drips with every reason why I love him, why I respect him, why I trust him with everything. it’s like tearing your soul, tearing the deepest part of you and handing it over to someone – here you go – and never looking back because you don’t need to. it’s that love that makes you forget any plan, any dream, any idea because since you’ve met him they all changed. the only thing you could want, need, or ask for is a lifetime of countless moments with him. I knew my purpose was to love but I stood on a twisted road, desperately searching for where I belonged. now I know. my purpose is to love him, through good and bad, for better or worse, forever. I love him and without him, there is no me.