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i was given a prompt and asked to write a poem about it so here goes nothing. if you want me to write a poem about something, feel free to leave me a prompt, subject, etc. and i will do my best to do so.

prompt: write a poem about the security of insecurity

The Security of Insecurity

she fears he’ll leave her
in the dusted debris of what used to be.
that he’ll be swept off his feet
by someone’s simplicity
when she’s already shown her imperfections.
she’s afraid he’ll be consumed by alcohol’s
sweet taste and bitter temptation,
and climb someone’s body like he needs it
to survive.
leave her miles away, wondering,
what she could’ve done
to keep him satisfied here so he wouldn’t be there.
insecurity brings doubt and worry –
why isn’t she making time for him?
where is she going? who is she going with?
what do they look like? are they what she likes?
what if their perfections outweigh his flaws.
but it’s not about trust, he’s knows she won’t hurt him.
she knows he won’t break her trust.
the enemy is themselves. they are afraid of their own flaws.
they fear their flaws will make them not enough.
but what is enough when we all come scarred?
it does wonders to remember such truth.

the truth is, they became afraid
when they touched that heart,
when their heart gets touched –
when they make mistakes and
their cards are laid out, flawed.
insecurity creeps in, not because
they haven’t shown their hearts
but because they now have someone
they’re afraid to lose.
security can blanket their walk
down to their soul
but that fear can uproot
the tiniest bit of insecurity
and turn it into flaming rage
that burns at the touch, heightens
defense mechanisms – toughens
the battle within, tearing at the skin,
grinding the bones, tearing at the heart,
ripping through the brain with made up illusions
and make believe stories of what ifs
and worst scenarios.
this blocks out the real reasoning
which is and always has been..
the movement of the heart.

when it comes down to it,
there is something secure about the insecurity
that leaks through our flawed actions,
that drenches our questions full of worry.
it is the tell tale sign of care and exclusivity,
of a heart beating with so much respect and value
for the one who pulls it close, that it suddenly doesn’t fear
heights or nature or the cycle of life
but it fears the loss of a human so beautiful,
that the world seems nonexistent without them.
when it boils down to the uproar of insecurity,
they will find the security of insecurity
keeps them honest,
reveals their mistakes and wounded skin,
apologies, and love.
they travel through their hardest insecurities,
turned into darkest fears and here, they find
security within themselves,
within each other.
and there lies the beginning
of trust.
which is the kick-start
to everything.

-allison ryder