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no two loves

you don’t get two loves in one lifetime.
you get ones who try to fool you
into thinking they’re it-
but they can leave.
the one you love truly,
you’re chained to, for eternity.
they’re your purpose for breathing,
for living, for moving.
the loss of them is like the loss of life;
the loss of sleep, the loss of appetite,
the loss of drive and function.
but loss is funny,
they’re not really lost. you’d have to rip yourself
open and bleed to death
to ever lose them really.
you bury yourself deep within
to hide from the pain, only to feel it at it’s core
and still, you can’t give up.
you have hope of reconnection,
that two souls will collide once more.
his kiss is my salvation,
without him, it’s like my grand demise.
it may have been accident
how I fell in your arms that night
or it may have been written in the stars.
I beat as he breathes,
no matter how far.
you don’t get two loves like this;
the kind you feel in your bones,
in his presence, in his absence, in his kiss.
I’m glad you don’t get two loves like this
in one lifetime-
because even if you did,
even the second time around,
he’d be the one
my heart would find.

-Allison Ryder

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