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come back to me
by: allison ryder

where did you go?
i knew you as the better part of me,
the better part of you.
i felt your heart beat, the warmth of your body next to mine.
now you pull from me in a hug.
the life in you has left. the heart in you is discreet-
your care is vague and your anger is relentless.
you distance yourself into isolation- into solitude.
why are you pulling from me?
i remember you kissing me, holding me,
letting my hands wander without restraint.
now you fight me in all my efforts,
you don’t even smile the same.
where did that light in your eyes go?
you used to miss me, seek me out,
now i don’t know if you’d notice my absence.
you used to fight for me when we fought,
now you wave a white flag before we start
and point a gun when i try to stop it.
you’re different now. so much truth and betrayal,
heart wrenching pain. it’s changing you.
i don’t blame you. it’s changing me too,
but not with the one person i chose to walk through with.
where did you go?
i’m still here. waiting for you to come back to me.
i’m still here trying to fight through your darkness,
lighten your heart as you did mine,
break down your stubborn walls keeping me out,
seek your kiss to erase these dividing lines,
start a fire in the coldness that sweeps over your bones,
that keeps you from sleeping next to me, that puts you in this place
where you prefer to be alone.
i’m still here with your demons and your pain,
i’m holding your heart and your blood,
as mine bleeds for the girl who showed love for me.
for the beautiful, chaotic force, worth it, while utterly insane.
where did you go?
change with me.
don’t leave me here without you
because i’m standing on the road where we started-
heart in my throat, missing the closest, truest part of me,
waiting for you to return from hearts departed.