, , , , , , , , , , , ,

as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to keep my circle small & my trust selective. I’ve learned that I don’t need to explain my choices or defend my actions and I certainly don’t need to prove myself to anyone who chooses not to take the time to truly get to know me. I have parents I don’t answer to, don’t be up my ass. I’ve learned that most people won’t take responsibility for their own faults and fucked up lives and that’s not my problem nor is it my fault so keep your blame because it’s your own fault. I’ve learned that I can’t save everyone, though I’ll try, and to not fuck with people who only see black and white in a world of color. I’ve learned that people will point fingers at you when their own hands are dirty and blood stained. I’ve learned that everyone will put their two sense in when really, they don’t know a damn thing and have their own issues to worry about. I’ve learned how to not associate with stupidity or encourage ignorance and that anyone who truly knows me knows, if you got the last word in, in a fight, you fucked up. I’ve learned people are hypocrites with double standards who only want things their way or no way but life’s about compromise and if a person can’t listen and communicate, leave them to their loneliness. I’ve learned that the people who will break loyalty to everyone in their life are not people I can fuck with because loyalty is what matters most to me. I’ve learned to keep my circle small and my trust selective because friendships aren’t for the convenient, they’re for tough people with strong hearts who withstand love and tsunamis, who fight for their friendships and take blame for their own faults, and who do not constantly bring out the faults in others, as if to say they’re better. as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned not to apologize when I’m not wrong and not to give a shit about what anyone thinks because anyone can sit and judge me and my life, instead of fixing their own. anyone can say that I’m fucked up but how about admitting you fucked up and swallowing the words you spit out for the shards of glass they are. you can try and cut me with the broken shards of glass but at the end of the day, you hurt me because I cared about you but they’re your broken pieces to bare. 

-Allison Ryder