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his sickness paralyzes my hands,
weakens my mind
and silences my heart.
i watch him deteriorate,
groan in pain. no peace finds him.
he sleeps only to gasp for air,
he eats only to vomit
the life he had.
he walks only to tire,
to beg for death.
is this what you had planned?
is this what makes you happy?
greedy son of a bitches
making sure your wallet’s full,
pulling the life out of him.
watching us bite our tongues
and scream and cry
at each other in helplessness,
in fear, in pain.
fucking cancer and greedy
pharmaceuticals. you have a nice bed
to sleep in. come sleep
in mine for a day
and watch what you did.
silence your tears in your pillowcase,
swallow your tears, go in,
make sure he’s breathing.


-Allison Ryder