it’s exhausting being the nice person, always saying yes even when I don’t want to, bending over backwards, trying relentlessly for all the people I care about only for them to turn around and make no effort and say no because when it comes to you, they don’t have to. it’s exhausting to live in people’s shadows where everything is their way or the highway. you lose yourself. because while they’re smiling with their lives and what they want, they broke you in an irreparable way. it’s exhausting making people feel like they matter just so they could ignore you, or not invite you, or not take the 5 seconds it takes to text you back like an adult. it doesn’t matter if you know someone two years or twenty two years, people are selfish and horrible unless you fit their lives the way they want you to. and they’re horrible to the people who would do anything for them and by the time they realize that, you’re at that point where you’re like now you mean nothing just like how you made me feel when I tried.