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i was supposed to be their role model; the one teaching them, the one they could look up to but i’m the one who was making all the mistakes, who was causing pain to the people i loved most, making the same mistake over and over again – year after year – because i loved too much to let go and it only ended up hurting myself, who was finding myself in all the wrong places so i ended up losing myself and everyone around me instead. i was the one who was supposed to be teaching them and then i looked up one day and realized, they were growing up and they’re the ones who are teaching me.

 

-confessions of a proud aunt.

Allison Ryder*

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