all those posts you see from those lovers || family || friends who are not posting things about you, who keep it for when you guys are together because the world shouldn’t know your business. who are too afraid what people make think based on who you are || mistakes made || type of relationship, what they’re doing makes them an asshole and you matter. all those people telling you you’re too fat or not beautiful, they’re acting like assholes and you are beautiful no matter what. all those people who treat you like shit, they’re shit but you matter. silence is for cowards. so all those people not speaking up for you, to defend you, of their love for you, don’t let them silence your voice. you matter. if you matter to them and they won’t show it to the world, you probably don’t matter to them but you do matter. people are assholes who do asshole things and say fucked up shit to hurt people and not everyone can deal with the horrible humans people have evolved into. how do you deal with the fakeness, the lies, the deceit, the cheating, the caring more about what the world thinks than how you treat the people you love, the distrust, the disrespect, the using, the taking, the selfish ways, the breaking, the outward and intentional hurt. how does anyone deal with that. people acting like they’re better than you, friends acting fake, lovers tainting love. it’s a terrible epidemic but you matter and you’re better than them so go and make this world beautiful again, make people know what it means to be a good person in a world of grim reapers. – Allison Ryder
i ask so many questions because i want to know everything so i can be prepared, incase some utter betrayal or heartbreak is coming. while people don’t generally announce things like that, they do hint at them. but i should’ve learned with my fathers passing and countless heartbreaks over the years, that knowing it’s coming doesn’t ease the heartbreak, it doesn’t necessarily make you prepare any better. so maybe i need to loosen the reins and stop trying to control the outcome. because that just turns everything into a fight, which only creates heartbreak where i was attempting to prevent it.