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30/30, April, bleed, change, circumstance, destiny, fate, happiness, identity, language, life, loss, metaphor, move forward, move on, national poetry month, person, poem, poetry, rebirth, redemption, rhyme, scars, seasons, simile, story, turning point
by: Allison Ryder
change breaks the threshhold
like the first crisp breeze of fall
or the scent of winter’s first snowfall,
like the comfort of a bare body in spring sheets
or the first touch of cool water under a burning sun.
searched a twisted road for this change,
something to break the chains of my past,
transform me far from who i was,
deep into another part of me.
i drowned in the flames that consumed my body,
as hot as it was, it brought peace to my mind,
a whirlwind in my heart,
but that of love’s fluttering kiss.
my body succumbed to the heat
and i rose from the ashes. derived from the past,
into rebirth. complete freedom as steel chains
released their reins on the entrapment i’ve been enslaved to.
i had to lose everything to gain myself;
i had to embody pure freedom and utter breakage
to find solace. often times, we bleed to find redemption.
we call them scars instead of turning points.
we call them scars to hold onto them,
to revisit, to reopen, to bleed again.
i am a stranger to these scars
and that is happiness.
change breaks the threshhold
and all i was succumbs to it,
as i become who i am. change deafens
the care of judgments, it defeats the fear of difference.
this change is strength,
and with it, the waves drown out
those who can’t keep up with the tide.
they become strangers to me, just rocks lost at sea.
i can’t swim alongside those
anchored to an old me.
to the stars and back
by: Allison Ryder
written in the constellations;
such an uproar in the natural order
when you and i were placed
side by side. meteors showered the sky
at the speed of lightening —
strikes the glass in the sand,
warps it as genies warp water
around their fingertips.
we look up and the north star looks down at us.
guides us on our way–
our individual path and our road united. nurtures us.
capricornus. hercules. libra.
pegasus. perseus. phoenix.
held together by its own gravity,
luminous in existance, radiating through the atmosphere
as our stars collided.
written in the constellations,
this line between us was made.
i was born to collapse into you
and as you navigate, let the north star forever be
your map back into these arms of mine.
allison ryder, artists, business, change, dancer, destiny, doubt, education, effort, hardship, individual, life, love, motive, musician, obstacle, painter, perspective, poet, proof, purpose, quotes, rapper, rejection, struggle, work, writer
as artists, we have to work twice as hard, be over educated, and never stop creating – not through doubt, rejection, or hardship and they’ll all come. as artists, sometimes we gotta put on the suit and change the world with our perspective to keep doing what we do, to keep our destiny alive, so it never falls asleep to just dreams.
no two loves
you don’t get two loves in one lifetime.
you get ones who try to fool you
into thinking they’re it-
but they can leave.
the one you love truly,
you’re chained to, for eternity.
they’re your purpose for breathing,
for living, for moving.
the loss of them is like the loss of life;
the loss of sleep, the loss of appetite,
the loss of drive and function.
but loss is funny,
they’re not really lost. you’d have to rip yourself
open and bleed to death
to ever lose them really.
you bury yourself deep within
to hide from the pain, only to feel it at it’s core
and still, you can’t give up.
you have hope of reconnection,
that two souls will collide once more.
his kiss is my salvation,
without him, it’s like my grand demise.
it may have been accident
how I fell in your arms that night
or it may have been written in the stars.
I beat as he breathes,
no matter how far.
you don’t get two loves like this;
the kind you feel in your bones,
in his presence, in his absence, in his kiss.
I’m glad you don’t get two loves like this
in one lifetime-
because even if you did,
even the second time around,
he’d be the one
my heart would find.
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i sit here today and i find myself at the end of an era. i stand, permanently and beautifully changed from who i was but still apart of that person in heart, ambition, and compassion. i find myself sitting here and thinking of what i knew to what i know, of who i was to who i am, of what i wanted to what i have, of what i wished for to what i want now. i see pieces lying around me and i can’t help but look down and smile. there are but few battles i seek all it takes to rise above, there is but few roads i wish to make peace with. i look at these pieces and see reflections of heart filled embraces filled with love, change, and growth, moments of chance and of choice, of blood stained identities, lost roads, and resolutions amongst bitter endings. i stand on a tough road with persistent struggles and yet, absolute clarity. i look at the pieces and i see such a beautiful life behind me. i see the bottom layer of pain and sorrow, of darkness and shadows but the light of them dominates. i got off at the final stop. after the collision of two trains and an uprooted railroad that had every intention of throwing me into a grave to continue belittling my bones, myself – i shattered – into those pieces. the final stop. i feel it, as sure as day will come tomorrow, i feel the change rise within. i feel the evolution.. of who i am. it shakes me at the core. and i can’t help but smile. i’ve lived such a beautiful life so far. but this is a train i’ve never taken before. i look inside and i smile because i see completion. i see who i am. the person i want to be and the person i am have collided when that phonecall rattled my bones, broke my life in half and shattered it to pieces. horrible timing but such a beautiful recovery. i sit here today and i find myself at the end of an era, and the beginning of my life.
as much as I can’t work under anyone, I can’t work for anyone doing something I don’t want to do. I’ll be damned if I live this life unhappily. I live an uncontrolled, untamed life embracing the chaos that circles around us all. I don’t miss a beat, I don’t miss a moment…. I soar through this life like a bolt of lightening, impacting what I touch and being altered in the process. I abide by forces greater than you and I, and I find beauty and happiness in the uproar others claim to be such chaos.
30/30, advice, April, better, burned, change, choices made, circumstance, destiny, discouragement, failure, fear, growth, listen, opinions, passion, people, poetry, pursuit, relationships, roads traveled, stubborn, untitled
by allison ryder
strayed away from the road
i was, perhaps, destined for
long ago. listened to some discouragement
in the passions i pursued.
perhaps, it was not due to belief that i
was not good enough, but because of fear,
never accepted opinions, judgments,
or advice on other passions though.
i drove into these,
as if they were open flames. as if
i could not be burned. as if i could
pierce the world like lightning
but this lightning could not strike me.
as if i could not be killed. i have always
continued in my ways. fear not being an option,
comes with time, growth, circumstance.
broken bad habits was an effect
of people who were the cause.
people who made change easier.
for i wanted to be the best i could be.