i ask so many questions because i want to know everything so i can be prepared, incase some utter betrayal or heartbreak is coming. while people don’t generally announce things like that, they do hint at them. but i should’ve learned with my fathers passing and countless heartbreaks over the years, that knowing it’s coming doesn’t ease the heartbreak, it doesn’t necessarily make you prepare any better. so maybe i need to loosen the reins and stop trying to control the outcome. because that just turns everything into a fight, which only creates heartbreak where i was attempting to prevent it.