it’s a funny thing to have your life set out in front of you, laid out like it’s black and white.. it’s a funny feeling having nothing to lose
30/30, abandonment, allison ryder, alone, anger, April, beautiful, chances, courage, cycle, fear, fearless, finality, flowers, future, goodbye, identity, illness, journey, let go, life, loss, motivation, move, national poetry month, nature, orphan, pain, poetry, purpose, regret, risks, roots, sadness, scared, search, travel, tree, unknown
by: allison ryder
dirt brown stands tall as
forest and autumn emerge on its tips,
but there lies no roots. it is said:
the lack of veins allows the flutter in the wind.
it can move and in movement,
it can grow.
not tied down; neither
to landfill nor island.
an everlasting ability to be on a search
for purpose, for meaning, for exploration.
to search this world at new heights without
the painful, guilty, insecure, doubtful
attachment of those left behind.
the pain. the sorrow. the anger. the loss.
the abandonment. fuel the journey-
motivates the mind. to leave.
to take the chances we fear,
to make the jumps into an unknown abyss.
it’s easier to leave when you have no roots.
there are no goodbye’s or fears
of illness and death,
of losing time.
but to let roots hold us down, hold us back-
is to have branches like puppets,
living a life we were not made for-
a life like a silhouette shadow,
it is to have branches with buds
that never bloom.
an orphan has no roots
but it has flowers.
life is about moments. it’s about bucket lists, and dreams, and passions, and physical connections. it’s about kissing, and love, and taking chances, and traveling. it’s about doing things that scare you, and doing things that give you a piece of life you never had before. it’s about learning new things, and exploring. so when a person wants you to be a part of that, it’s because you mean something to them and this thing they’re going to do means something profound and they want to share it with you. that’s not to be feared, nor neglected, nor ignored – it’s to be appreciated and embraced. because that moment. it means something. and one day, you’re going to find yourself looking at that photograph and you’re going to feel something too. sharing moments with someone…. that’s the key. that’s what it’s truly all about. it’s not where you’re going, it’s who you’re going with. it’s who you’re sharing it with. that’s what matters.
– allison ryder
author, bake, blog, books, challenge, controversy, dreams, editing, fiction, heart, identity, impact, janson media, life, move, passion, photograph, poetry, published, quotes, risks, shock, touch, words left unspoken, writer, written word
i’m on the road of change; the twisted turns of new beginnings, the uproar of controversy, the raceway to everything imaginable and impossible. i’m an artist. a writer. a romantic. an adventure seeker. a risk taker. a lover. a baker. a photographer. a racer. a bartender. an advice giver. a daughter. a friend. a sister. an aunt. i’m a lot of intricate and complex puzzle pieces striving to impact the world through the written word. books will never be extinct as long as i am alive. it is an amazingly powerful thing to know why you were born; to know your purpose – to have dreams and passions, and courageously and fearfully pursue each and every one of them but at the end of the day, always bring it back to that one thing you know you were meant to do. i want to move people, shock people, touch people.. with my words, and i’m going to do just that. i’ve always been told it’s not logical how i live my life. my dreams aren’t logical. my beliefs are not realistic. i am not doing what “i’m supposed to do.” but i am doing what i believe is right. this is my life and i am going to live it my way. judgment, criticism, disappointment. i can take it. i can’t take living a life for somebody else, living it the way they want me to. i work hard, no matter what the job is. i take things very seriously, sometimes too serious – work and relationships alike. because my heart knows the value of the things i pursue and you can tell me i’m wrong and i’m not on the “right road,” and maybe it’s not acceptable to you but it’s my road, and it’s my journey.. so you can embrace and accept who i am and how i live my life or you can respectfully get out of my way. because nothing you say can stop me. i don’t give up. once my heart and my time is invested, my entire being is invested and that’s who i am.
my focus in writing is quotes, poetry, and fiction (mostly action, romance, and supernatural). “words left unspoken” was my first book published through Janson Media in 2010. i have this ability, if you will, the purely empathetic ability to place myself in someone’s shoes and vividly imagine their battles, feel their pain. i wrote the majority of this poetry throughout my high school years and the book was meant to reveal the untold scars and battles of everyday life. it reflects a darker, deeper, and more intense aspect of life.
my writing has drastically transformed since this book was published. i am not the same person i was four years ago. i have been touched and moved by experiences and people in such a way that my entire art has transformed and it’s about that time to show the world how i’ve grown.
at night is when I create. it’s when the mind is “supposed to” rest but mine explores the realm of reality and fantasy. it’s when I question life and it’s capabilities, it’s limits and boundaries. it’s when I question myself. at night is when the stories unravel, the great ideas take place, the thoughts that provoke desires and dreams. at night is when my mind is most wrapped in chaos and my words are never more clear. night is for sleep. no. night is for the touch between two bodies, the release of souls, the kiss, the movement by music, the creation of art, the clarity of life, the defining moments, and profound choices. at night are our desires, our insecurities, our fears, our honesty, injected into our sleep in the form of dreams and nightmares so in the morning we have a little more knowledge, a little more direction, a little more peace, a little more clarity.
The truth is all we have. Wrong. The truth is the reality of it. What may or may not be a lie – the things we do by heart, by like, by lust, by love, by faith – those are the things that make us feel alive. Whether truth or lie, those are the moments of validity, of courage, of fearlessness. that is what we have, those chances and risks is what gives it all purpose.
tomorrow doesn’t change today. this is what I want & I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna pursue it, and I’m gonna be 110% dedicated to this moment right now. whatever happens at the end doesn’t change that this is what I want now. I don’t care about the ending.. I care about the journey – the string of moments – that’s what it’s about.
30/30, April, bucket list, chances, completion, desires, experience, fulfillment, lessons, life, love, memories, moments, no regret, objects, pictures, poetry, relationships, remember, risks, travel, work
by: allison ryder
it’s an ongoing list;
the more i experience,
the more i add.
effect; the more pictures i take,
the more i want to remember.
freeze the moment, the breath
of emotion, unable to be altered
or taken back,
for its already imprinted in history.
filled with chances, risks,
desires, places, objects,
people, nights, days-
it’s filled with lessons
and memories, passions and dreams.
make a point to fulfill numbers
every year – lead a full life,
complete. with fear as a motivator,
driven by romantic desire.
my heart beats for life
and for life i live.
I just recently returned from Atlantis and I’ve been crossing things off my bucket list from going there to when I returned. one of the numbers stated: do something that scares me. while I do not fear heights, watching people close to me go parasailing terrified me. so I did it. heart pounding. heavy breathing. not knowing what would happen. I was terrified. but I did it. and you know what, I loved every minute of it.. except the fact that there’s no support under your butt and I felt the need to hold on for dear life. it was a moment, an experience I couldn’t have had if I didn’t take a chance.