the sound of church bells on one side,
the sound of records spinning on the other.
how does that badger you inside?
the decision between family accordance
your photographs hashtag: blessed.
but your photos show a slip of skin
to a dip in the tune.
you’re out of self-control.
your vocals don’t add up
to the movement in your hips.
the church bells are ringing.
they’re calling to claim your soul
but you’re still dancing.
hesitant. they see it in your eyes.
but we all know,
freedom comes with a price.
you hold onto the fire
like it would burn you alive to let go.
you left me with third degree burns;
every word that left your lips,
that put tireless hands to work
in typing up my demise
and sending it without a second thought.
then you ran. you hid behind the pain
you caused me, as if i hurt you.
you tore me down to pieces.
pointed fingers that weren’t clean
and deemed me unfit to carry.
no matter how irresponsible your choices;
i never would’ve made you feel badly
for being human. for choosing your own road.
but you did. i don’t know why.
and i don’t search for validation
for your unforgivable use
of a beautiful language.
you hurt me.
and you don’t get to deem yourself
a good friend
for not acknowledging that.
all those posts you see from those lovers || family || friends who are not posting things about you, who keep it for when you guys are together because the world shouldn’t know your business. who are too afraid what people make think based on who you are || mistakes made || type of relationship, what they’re doing makes them an asshole and you matter. all those people telling you you’re too fat or not beautiful, they’re acting like assholes and you are beautiful no matter what. all those people who treat you like shit, they’re shit but you matter. silence is for cowards. so all those people not speaking up for you, to defend you, of their love for you, don’t let them silence your voice. you matter. if you matter to them and they won’t show it to the world, you probably don’t matter to them but you do matter. people are assholes who do asshole things and say fucked up shit to hurt people and not everyone can deal with the horrible humans people have evolved into. how do you deal with the fakeness, the lies, the deceit, the cheating, the caring more about what the world thinks than how you treat the people you love, the distrust, the disrespect, the using, the taking, the selfish ways, the breaking, the outward and intentional hurt. how does anyone deal with that. people acting like they’re better than you, friends acting fake, lovers tainting love. it’s a terrible epidemic but you matter and you’re better than them so go and make this world beautiful again, make people know what it means to be a good person in a world of grim reapers. – Allison Ryder
adults, artist, birthday party, blog, date night, diversity, drink, events, fundraiser, girl's night out, have fun, kids, local, local artists, manager, music, nightlife, north shore, paint, paint it forward, paint party, pinot's palette, self-expression, staten island, therapy, wine, writer
Top 10 Reasons Pinot’s Palette North Shore Should be #1 on your To Do List
By: Allison Ryder
Instead of hosting another Birthday dinner or bridal shower at a catering hall, and instead of the same old afternoon looking for somewhere new to go (probably off the island), we offer an innovative and creative experience. We mix art, nightlife, and opportunity to create a memorable experience and masterpiece you’ll keep forever. You get to sit back and relax with a drink in hand, catch up with your favorite people, and learn to paint your own unique masterpiece from start to finish J
Our Artists do not all have education backgrounds or experience teaching but they are all artists. They come from all over Staten Island to share with you, their talent and their passion, providing you with a memorable class where you develop your own painting skills. You get to interact with them on a personable level and for some, it provides the foundation to build a relationship – whether as an aspiring artist, as a mother who is looking for a hobby, as a child who is looking for an outlet. The Artists we have here provide the studio with a sense of home, here on Staten Island.
Never painted before? Stick figures are your forte? No problem. This is an awesome environment for everyone. Whether you’re just looking for something new to do, something to share with your child, or somewhere to learn new painting techniques because deep down, you’re an artist at heart.
Taste a new wine before enjoying a glass while you paint. What better way to spend your day than relaxing with a beer, hard cider, or glass of wine and a paintbrush in hand. We also offer soda, juice, bottled water, and coffee.
These paintings are perfect to share with that special someone in your life – whether romantic, family, or your best friend. While you’re working on your own canvas, your “date” is working on theirs, and at the end of the night, you push the two together to make the painting whole.
We are always looking for ways to let loose, relax, and express ourselves. We want to escape the busyness of our lives and the chaos of our schedules. Our painting classes provides the opportunity to do so. Whether with a group or by yourself, painting is its own form of therapy and 9 out of 10 times, it will become your newest and most favorite hobby.
Pinot’s Palette NS is a place of diversity; a place where all ages can come together and be a part of something beautiful. We host both adult parties and events, and children’s parties, boy/girl scout events, and school trips. We offer paintings that are easier for younger kids and ones that are perfect for all ages. Our paintings are for both women and men, as well.
Food, drinks, activity, and good music – you can’t go wrong. Whether you’re looking for old school or 80’s music, or some new R&B and hip-hop, our events are never without pumping tunes to fuel good vibes. So grab your ladies and paint your way through Staten Island with a wine glass that never empties. And while some establishments require you to indulge in their food selections, we allow you to bring any food and snacks you please to any public class or private party. This is the kind of girl’s night you won’t forget and you’ll always have your own masterpiece to remember the night 😉
Who doesn’t like to give back? Who doesn’t want to do more? To offer a hand where we can? Pinot’s Palette NS hosts various fundraisers, donating money per painter towards cette specific charity. Upcoming we have two fundraisers for March for Babies – one is a glass class Wednesday February 15th 2017 at $40 per painter with $15 being donated to the March of Dimes. Friday March 31st 2017, painters will be painting “Colorful Swirl Sky” which is $40 per painter with $10 being donated to March for Babies.
Pinot’s Palette also partnered up with the after-school theatre program – “The Standing Ovation Players,” at $35 per painter with $5 being donated per painter.
Paint it Forward and book your next fundraiser with us now! Or reserve your seat for one of the many, where donations go to a life changing cause.
Instead of looking for something to add to your bucket list that’s out of state, our North Shore studio gives Staten Islanders something new and local to take part in. It’s this fun afternoon or night to get together and enjoy ourselves, with so many people from our own hometown. It provides the opportunity for different neighborhoods to come together and make new friendships and create new memories. It’s not something you have to go into the city for or travel to another state to do, it’s right here in your own backyard.
i was supposed to be their role model; the one teaching them, the one they could look up to but i’m the one who was making all the mistakes, who was causing pain to the people i loved most, making the same mistake over and over again – year after year – because i loved too much to let go and it only ended up hurting myself, who was finding myself in all the wrong places so i ended up losing myself and everyone around me instead. i was the one who was supposed to be teaching them and then i looked up one day and realized, they were growing up and they’re the ones who are teaching me.
-confessions of a proud aunt.
this is the kind of pain that is impossible to fathom unless you’ve been in this exact situation. it’s not like mourning a simple heartbreak and end of a relationship, it’s the mourning of a finality. it’s the kind of pain that tears you up from the inside out and if it doesn’t kill you, it will change you. mark my words, it will do one of the two. and it’s hard for an outsider to understand why you only want to be around certain people, why you don’t want to make plans with them, why you’re angry all the time, why you don’t want to go out, why you’re antisocial, why you lose interest in the things you used to love to do. it’s impossible to imagine watching the person you love the most in pain, struggling, suffering, and dying. hard doesn’t begin to explain. and you don’t want to lose people or push them too far away, as you introvert and try to deal with this incomprehensible situation, so you lose pieces of yourself trying to explain your choices, what you’re going through, and why you’re doing things the way you are. but the truth is, they’re too stubborn to listen because the pain you’re feeling, it’s not real to them. they have no idea what it’s like and until you’re on the floor, crying until you can’t breathe, making yourself sick, begging God that it be you that goes instead, in front of their eyes, do they realize the extent of the damage and how small their argument is in retrospect. so you stop explaining and you detach and you isolate and you love the patient people who are there, and leave the rest to mourn the loss of you. because when they were thinking about what they want, you were trying desperately not to bury your father.
i said i wouldn’t write
our story on the walls,
but here i am.
pencil font, hoping you will change it.
dear you, yes you,
you know who you are.
honest and loyal companion,
walked around the midst with me.
just as lost and as broken,
stood side by side until we found our way.
both homeless, both hungry,
we took each other in.
when no one else was there,
we filled those voids.
spun around at the cusp of night
and you were gone.
false reasons, misconstrued judgments.
who are you and what am i?
just an excuse to blame?
i put all my trust in you,
opened up my secretive heart
and you just threw it away.
not forcing you to stay
but if you want to leave,
have the audacity, the respect
to say goodbye.
don’t tell me
they’re wrong for their silence,
drill it in my mind, claim to care,
then turn around,
and rip out your tongue.
dear you, yes you.
with anger, i won’t tarnish
these bricks with an ill tongue.
with hurt, I’ll just try to scream
to get to you.
my estranged sister,
how lost i am now.
who are you and what am i?
what would you tell your daughter
if these were her cries?
how do you leave, emotionless,
with no reason, with no goodbye?
if i write about heartbreak, i’m sulking at home mourning the loss of love
if i write about love, i must be wed.
if i write about depression, pain, sickness, i must be dying or cutting myself, dead.
if i write about two girls kissing, i must be gay.
if i write about sex with a man, i must be straight today.
if i write about anger, i must’ve had a fight and been talking about you.
and then they have the audacity to claim you’re publicly diminishing them in poetry.
if it’s not facebook official, you must not be in love.
if it’s on instagram, it must be true.
if it’s a quote – it must be how you feel, must be what’s happening.
some don’t seek other’s approval – don’t care for other’s perception,
some artists just write.
i’m writing stories, now you think you know me.
the accusations and judgments are getting old.
i don’t write nonfiction. you’ll never know me,
my story will never be told.