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unfortunately, the world has thrust so many articles of terrorism, fear, and corruption into our lives – very few darkened instances shock me. it is even more rare that they fuel my aggression in such a way, that poetry alone just will not do. very few instances spark a rapid string of rage infused opinions and statements. upon looking for subjects used for poetry inspiration on twitter, i stumble across a post by #anonymous regarding the fbi’s invasion into martin luther king jr’s personal and private life and hoover’s obsession with burying MLK and everything he stood for.
MLK is most commonly known for his honest and beautifully influencial speech; “I have a dream.” But he is more than just this speech. He is a man who stood for more than just himself, he is someone who fought for the people – not his people – but for people, to all stand with one another, in equality, instead of against one another, in difference. He pursued these civil rights without coercion and without violence. He leveled with people in truth and a strong belief that has influenced and changed lives.
this clip is something i don’t feel the need to reword, as it should be worded as is.
“In an effort to prove he was under Communist influence, FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover spent significant resources monitoring King’s movements and eavesdropping on his communications. Attorney General Robert Kennedy gave consent, allowing the organization to break into King’s office and home installing phone taps and bugs to track the leader’s movements and conversations as well as those of his associates. Although the recordings did not reveal any association with the Communist Party, they did reveal extensive details about his extramarital affairs.
After learning King would be the recipient of the 1964 Nobel Peace Prize, Hoover took his fanatical obsession with obliterating King to the next level. Agents sent the reverend an anonymous note, chastising him for his affairs and implying that he should commit suicide.”
“One FBI memo refers to King as ‘the most dangerous and effective Negro leader in the country.'”
after reading the letter sent to MLK, my blood simply boiled. i do not see a correlation between his personal and private life, and his sexual preferences – with his acts and words that changed a nation. and this is because there is no correlation between the two. MLK was feared for the impact he would have on people – the ability to influence people to stand up for and fight for what they believed in, to have their own opinions and to speak them – not silence their individual voices in fear. this makes the government believe they are losing the reins over their people – their losing their own ability to govern by control and who they can’t control, they silence.
i am in no way a political nor a religious person and I have an enormous amount of respect and love for our military, our troops, some law enforcement and government officials as I have seen the good many can and will do – as I have seen many not take advantage of the power but instead take advantage of having the opportunity to create a positive change in this world – but i will state that this letter is the most savage and dispicable thing i have ever read. MLK was deemed a fraud because of his private sexual acts? give me a break. how dare anyone think they can belittle what this man did for the world because of what he did in the privacy of his own home- he wasn’t killing people, he was having sex which is no one’s business. what right does anyone have to know such personal details about anyone. why because it was the only thing that could be used as blackmail. such hatred and people wonder why the world contains such despicable people. the letter states “You could not believe in God and act as you do.” WELL, neither could the author of this letter to penetrate this man’s privacy with no right, other than a false allegation that he was a communist because they needed a reason to make this invasion acceptable, and act/write with such hatred and disrespect about a person who was trying to make this world better. the author of this letter could not believe in God nor have a good bone in his/their body to judge a man and bully him and believe they could act as the grim reaper and hold death over his life when he deserved to live because he made life better. it is not anyone’s right to judge a person’s personal life and then dictate what he is and what he’s not, what he can do and what he cannot. circumstance, background, experience may influence but it does not make a person who they are. the actions of MLK versus the actions of this government – trying to influence a man to take his own life so they can maintain control portray the savages that run around wearing their suits of power, wealth, and greed, hiding behind grenades and drones, so they can erase their fingerprints and wipe the blood on someone else’s hands. to simply say fuck you, would be a kindness and you deserve none of my mercy. i pray this world delivers more men and women with the strength and courage to stand up for all people, to see beauty where others see difference, to fight for equality against people with efforts of persuasion. there should be more people like MLK who rise above and have the heart to try and change this world for the better, who do not succumb to fear, threats, or manipulation. changing this world cost him his life but the effect he had on it lives on and they were right about one thing.. Martin Luther King Jr is one of the most effective leaders this nation has ever seen – if the government deems a man such as him as a threat then I do not wonder why the true threats are still penetrating the United States of America and that is truly a waste of resources.
– Allison Ryder
the right people are the ones who are not afraid to call you out when you’re wrong or when you’re being a pain in the ass. who will tell you what they need and what they want, whether good or bad. who you spend time with and the world washes away, there’s no noise just simple moments that make you happy. who you have an insane mind blowing leaves you speechless intimate relationship with. who can make you smile with just a glance. the right people are the ones who see beyond your mistakes and dig down to what’s real because they want to know. who forgive the bad because the good’s better 🙂
everyone makes mistakes, everyone has disagreements, everyone is wrong at various points in their lives- the important thing is that you learn from it and don’t do it again. that’s the most important part, that you’re learning as you go.
the problem is I have the ability to see the good in everyone, to see beauty where people see nothing. it is the blessing I am burdened with- just because I can see the good in everyone doesn’t mean they’re a good person. it just means I saw something more but everyone’s proven wrong sometimes.
by: allison ryder
shattered glass, spilled over your rug-
drove my car right through your window.
smashed the frames to pieces-
pictures of the family you pretended not to have,
you can pick up the pieces,
try to glue them back together
until your fingers bleed-
but it’ll never feel the same.
you walked out on a little girl,
who stood around, head down-
holding your blame. your shame.
the pieces hold a reflection
of the man you never were.
how will you explain,
my car could’ve stopped
but I didn’t stop.
how will you explain,
a home destroyed-
a giant hole tainted your perfect world,
but your perfection seeped with lies.
she’s a big girl now-
she’s not abandoned, lost, confused.
you may as well have filled the tank,
your fingerprinted burned the wheel.
how does it feel?
the walls rattled,
at the force of the crash.
I’ll wait until you’re home,
you never opened your eyes, all this time-
you were never awake.
you may not want to lay in it-
but it’s the mess you made.
actions, change, choices, decisions, definition, destructive, dictate, evil, good, heartache, impact, importance, insecurities, life, listen, mind, own worst enemy, paths, reflection, relationships, risk, self-destruction, trust, willing to, wrong
she confided in me about the one secret that dictated much of her life. prone to traveling destructive paths, she found herself doubting every decision she made and would make. no matter the choice, there were what if’s attached and she began to lose the trust in herself to make the right decisions. she had been dealt some rough hands- so much, to the point that she didn’t know any different. this lack of security in her own life, and lack of trust in herself, and extreme doubt in her ability to see people for who they were and not regret the paths she chose became such a problem, for such a long time – that she often did not even realize what she was doing. she did not realize how much of her life it consumed and destroyed. when a circumstance arised where she could lose someone that meant something to her, a circumstance she wanted in her life- her eyes, mind, heart, and soul became awakened. her insecurites consumed her actions in such a way that she mirrored a poision that she had desperately tried to cure herself of. a bump in the road and a situation unraveled that anchored her in such a way that her mind became the ultimate enemy. she was drowning, from the inside out. the downfall here was that she did not see a person for who and what they truly were. was this because she was that naive or ignorant not to see a person for who they truly are or was this because she wants to believe in the best of people and this desire masked what was real.
after what could be a completely disheartening loss, she opened up and confided in me and this is what she said:
[i am disappointed in myself. people are misleading and i risked something that means a great deal to me for something that means nothing, all to try and figure out how i could be so wrong about an individual. but i have realized that some people are very good at showing you only a portion of themselves and unless you see them constantly, it is impossible to know what they are hiding from you. it does not reflect bad judgment on me nor does it make me a bad person because i wish to see the good in people. how depressing of a life would i lead, if i were to constantly expect to see the worst. it was never about risking one for another because it was never about another. it was about me. it was about doubting myself and not trusting my instincts.. but being wrong, it’s a part of life and just because i’m wrong sometimes, it doesn’t make me less of a person. it makes me human. i was wrong and i let go of that situation without further trying to figure out why. except this time, i let go for good. there is no sense in reopening a situation that causes so much pain, distrust, and disrespect. i was wrong for reopening it once- i will not keep making the same mistakes. i know better. i have something i am not willing to risk and hopefully i have not lost it. the finality of closure is not always easy but there comes a time in your life where it becomes necessary. you end up at a crossroads where you must choose a path and whichever path you choose, is the decision you must stick with. i am at the crossroads where i am staring at the circumstance i’m in – who i am – and the person i was- doing the things i thought i should have been doing. it was a battle between myself – between who i am and who i should be. and i choose who i am. i choose where i am and the person i’m with, if they’ll have me. i never really listened. i crossed a lot of paths and broke a lot of boundaries and that is how i lived my life. i never really realized a lot of things but now i realize them. now i’m not just hearing, i’m listening. if someone you trust with everything tells you, you’re running into a fire – maybe, just maybe, for once – you should listen and run around it. i’m sorry. i finally put the pieces together and i acknowledge i sell myself short. there are a lot of bad people in this world and trying to make your mind figure them out, only makes you make the wrong decisions- sometimes you just have to let it go. sometimes you have to just let everything you’ve ever known go and start with the knowledge you have now. and you have to hope that the person whose trust you betrayed and who you hurt will give you the chance to be the better person they make you want to be. one of the more difficult things to do is to cut the deeply rooted roots of some part of you that you desperately want to change. it is a great blessing to meet someone who can make the change easier and faster. it is not your past who determines who you are – it is not the terrible circumstances you have faced or the people who you gave parts of your life to, who you misjudged – it is the decisions you make now that determines who you are. time passes and circumstances change and with this, people change and there is nothing wrong with that. i do not fear change but i sometimes fear myself. what i mean to say is, i fear that my past has manipulated a part of my life so much that i cannot tell the difference between good and evil – that i am not enough to make a difference. and then i opened my eyes and i saw that what i do does make a difference – maybe not in everyone’s lives but in someone’s. people are not all the same. just because one made you feel one way doesn’t mean another will do the same. just because i was wrong about someone doesn’t mean i need to prove that maybe i wasn’t. i cannot change people. but i can change myself. and every wrong decision i’ve made thusfar has had to do with me – nobody else. i didn’t know how to talk about it but now i do.]
she lived most of her life, for as long as she could remember with such a painful secret to bear. she transformed into this person because of the situations she faced and she did not know how to change it – she did not know how to accept what was, to accept people for who they are, to accept that if something or someone is hurting you, you need to let them go, for good. she did not realize how much of her life – this part of her took over. she did not realize that she was destroying herself by allowing past circumstances to infect her present, and her future. opening up was the most difficult part but she realized that just because she was alone in the past doesn’t mean she had to do it alone now. this problematic arrival of events altered every aspect of her life because it wasn’t what it seemed – it was about self-reflection and learning to trust herself again, regardless if she was wrong sometimes. i have never seen a more altered and beautifully transformed reflection than seen now.
“sometimes things look bad when they’re really not. sometimes there’s another explanation for what’s going on.”
she realized she was only hurting herself by keeping this inside so in but four days, she took the initiative to change so when given the chance to speak, she transfers the truth because no matter how deep or painful it could be, it is the only way not to lose something that matters.